Is my kid too proper acting? This week my 17 year old was participating in a new slam poetry group; since the group’s practice is during dinner she brought food. According to my daughter, the other members were not eating, so at an appropriate moment my daughter asked the leader’s permission to eat. “I brought my dinner, am I permitted to warm and eat?” she asked. At this moment the teenage group ripped into gut-busting laughter. “Are you serious?” one of them asked. “Did you really say that right now?” another chimed in. My daughter looking and feeling a little dumbfounded wondered what was so funny. She went on to explain it is proper etiquette to ask, no one else was eating and she did not want to be rude. The laughter continued. My daughter was correct in asking could she warm and eat her food in a place she had not been before. That fact that others laughed is a telling sign of respectful behavior in today’s society.
The deterioration of respectful behavior in young adults has been a trend in recent news. In April, the New York Post ran an article about teenage “wilding”. This term originated in 1989 when a jogger in Central Park was attacked by a group of wild frenzied teenagers. According to the New York Post, groups of teenagers assaulted, robbed and terrorized subway riders in Manhattan just last month. This behavior is not respectful or proper.
Remember the days of Miss Manners? Miss Manners was the pen name of Judith Martin. Miss Manners answered questions about proper etiquette and manners in over 200 newspapers worldwide. Doesn’t seem like people care much about Miss Manners now a days. Between the road rage and “wilding” it almost seems like our society craves the “bad behavior”. Shows like “Big Brother” and “ The Real World” capitalize on the lack of manners and proper etiquette of twenty-somethings. These shows are very popular with the teenage crowd. The reality show Ladette to Lady’s premise is to teach proper etiquette to loud, foul-mouthed uncultured women. This reality show displays a transformation from wild child to polished lady. It’s dramatic but the sentiment is in the right place.
It may be popular to wild out but it is not proper or respectful. It is ok to have manners in today’s society. We can go back to teaching our children to respect their elders, speak properly, and carry oneself with dignity. The thug-like attitude that steps on the feet of others is not cool or pleasant. The days of yesteryear are longed for as we enter new and challenging times. Our media, music and entertainment do not support the etiquette of Miss Manners, although we can teach our children proper etiquette so they can turn out to be respectful teenagers. When my children were little I was yelling while driving. I would often call out, “idiot!” Then one day my little girl called it out before I could. That was the end of that word. I had taught her how to yell at others. Modeling good behavior and respect for other people can be the strongest example. All is not lost in the area of good behavior; many young people are lovely and caring individuals. It’s proper to ask to eat at someone else’s home, open the door for others, help elderly people across the street and speak without using filthy language. So, start with the young people in your life. Model good behavior, monitor media examples and call them on bad actions. This can be the start of a new era of good feelings and respect for one another.
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