On Edge-Who Me or You

I get it, even if no one else does! I notice the signs of mistreatment when I see it. That is what’s wrong with our society. No one wants to see anything. We all walk around like uncomfortable feelings do not exist. Many of us have learned to be desensitized to people in pain. Society turns the other cheek but not in a good way. Case in point, in the New York Times Magazine, Michael Sokolove wrote an article about Shani Davis. http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/07/magazine/07Davis-t.html
I’m going be honest. I was not aware of Shani Davis. As my spouse read me excerpts from the article, an overwhelming parallel occurred based on my experience as a special education teacher.

Shani Davis is a world-class Black American gold medalist speed skater from Chicago. He is awesome! He is a Hercules on skates. That is so great what is his story? I asked as the article unfolded. Shani is a product of a single mother. He started skating and competing on ice by age 6. In the upcoming, 2010 Winter Olympics, Shani already holds the world record for the two middle distance events he is favored to win.

This is so impressive so what’s the problem? Well, apparently there is a sense of bad karma or vibes around Shani. Other people in the ice skating community are not comfortable around him. He is an isolated athlete that has a reputation of being on the “Island of Shani”. He chooses not to train with his team, he doesn’t care about money, and he will not allow his name or image on the team webpage according to the article. Oh, and his mother has quite a reputation for flying off the handle and being what seems too be erratic. People avoid her. Also according to the article people walk on eggshells around Shani while “he basks in his competitive comfort zone, sets up according to his needs and to serves what matters most to him-skating fast. “

Believe it or not, this scenario of people acting what seems to be strange looks very familiar. As a special educator, I immediately saw the parallels of advocating special education parents and Shani and his mother. I have seen good people devastated by an educational system that can barely keep up with the current best practices. Parents in shock or grief of processing having a special needs child end up feeling attacked and manipulated in the educational process i.e., meetings, services, placements. By the time the special needs child reaches the 3rd grade, the parents are crazy according to staff members. The staff says things like: they make their kid sick; they don’t want help; I tried to talk to them and they just want outside providers etc. etc. As the special needs educational process takes place it becomes emotionally, physically and spiritually difficult and the parents start to fight back when they feel their child’s needs are not being met. The parents work to protect themselves from the very system that is suppose to be their partner. I can not count how many times, angry parents looked at me crossly from the other side of the meeting table. Almost like they were waiting for the empty words of promise to come out of my mouth. In time, we formed a partnership and healed together but there was something that needed healing.

So when listening to the article about Shani being difficult to be around, I really had to ask, is it Shani that has been on his island or did he have to make an island to survive.

As I witnessed families sanity be questioned, ideas belittled, and dreams diminished by lack of best practices, understanding, compassion or education of staff, I have to wonder is that the case with Shani too. It seems a part of the ice skating community is expressing their discomfort in how this man chooses to live his life. This is my point about this wonderful athlete.
Shani Davis is not the cookie cutter athlete that society is use to seeing smiling brightly on a Wheaties’ box. No one has really tried to understand Shani’ s journey we just want his journey to look like “ours”. Society wants no waves, no pain, and no distress. The discomfort of his isolation has sparked something but it’s the wrong something. Don’t walk on eggshells, just walk. Walk toward the answers that led this man to protect himself by staying to himself. Now, that is something to think about. I bet no one wants to touch this subject. I get it, even if no else does! That’s what’s wrong with our society. No one wants to see anything. We all walk around like discomfort does not exist.